Joan's story may be one that is increasingly common in Singapore. The risk of dementia increases in age, and due to higher life expectancies and decreasing birth rates, Singapore is one of the most rapidly ageing in Asia. In 2010, around one in 10 Singaporeans were aged 65 and above. By 2020, that number rose to one in six. By the time it is 2030, the figure will rise to one in 4 Singaporeans.

 

Today, 60 per cent of Singaporeans are concerned about dementia, and already, one in 10 people over the age of 60 suffer from it.

 

Dementia happens when various diseases and injuries, such as Alzheimer's or reduced supply of blood in the brain, lead to deterioration of cognitive function.

 

The most distinctive feature is a progressive decline in memory, speech, reasoning and other cognitive abilities. The deterioration is more severe than symptoms of normal ageing and includes confusion, personality changes and emotional instability, all of which become more disruptive over time.

 

The onset of dementia can be subtle and may go undetected or overlooked. Trust your gut if you notice unusual behaviour. Keep an eye out for changes like these early signs of dementia and see a doctor for screening:

 

1. Short-term memory loss.
Loved ones struggle to remember things and consistently forget the names of friends, family or even entire events. They increasingly repeat themselves.

 

2. Confusion and needs help with familiar tasks.
A loved one frequently misplaces everyday items, has trouble following a recipe they once cooked regularly or even forgets how to use their mobile phone.

 

3. Problems with language and understanding.
People with dementia may struggle to find the right words, follow conversations and spell or write sentences.

4. Changes in behaviour and mood swings.
They may experience sudden fear, frustration, paranoia, suspicion and anxiety. They can become aggressive and violent.

 

Claire and Pete knew their mother as a woman whose positivity and warmth brought joy to everyone around her. But her quick-witted sense of humour and love for life began to fade with dementia. She became suspicious, irritable, and at times, even aggressive toward those around her.

 

"Our mother went through phases of denial, aggression, sadness and depression. She kept repeating herself and forgot the names of close friends and family. The independent woman we once knew was now depending on us for everything," Claire recalls.

 

The heartbreak that comes with watching their strong mother slowly decline and fade away has overwhelmed Claire and Pete many times. They have felt powerless, inadequate and angry.

 

"We didn't know what to expect or if there was anything we could do rather than just watching our mother spiral down and stray further from herself," Pete recalls.

 

Claire adds, "We didn't know how to deal with all that guilt and sadness and cope with things. At one point, a health professional told us, it is the illness, not your mum. That's when things started to get better for us. That's when we started to see our real mum again through the illness."

 

So, they stopped fighting and embraced it. "Accept that it's happening," Claire and Pete share. "Cherish your time together and appreciate the moments of clarity. Remember them for who they were throughout their life."

 

Nonetheless, as part of the sandwiched generation, Claire and Pete were under immense emotional and financial pressure to be able to care for both their ageing parent and their children while juggling their own professional responsibilities.

 

At the beginning of their journey, they turned to community and online resources for advice. Both found local support groups who knew what they were going through and made them feel less isolated, hopeless and fearful.

 

Over time, they have begun to rely on family members, friends and volunteer organisations to help with daily caregiving. They are also considering trying caregiving assistance and adult day-care. 

 

Importantly, they learned that having time for themselves was okay. Each day, they schedule breaks for themselves to pursue their interests, meet with friends and lead a "normal" life. They emphasise that without this self-care and the right support, they would be able to offer their mum the care that they do.

 

When it comes to conditions like dementia, there's no such thing as being too prepared. Ease the financial burden for you and your loved ones with the AIA Centurion PA, the first personal accident plan in Singapore with an optional coverage for multi-stage Alzheimer's Disease, Severe Dementia and Idiopathic Parkinson's Disease. You can start AIA Centurion PA coverage from as early as age 40 to as late as age 80*, and be protected till 100 years old, with value-added services such as home care, health screenings and teleconsultations to make your golden years more comfortable and carefree.

 

Achieving physical, mental and financial wellness is possible. Give yourself peace of mind and check out AIA Health360 for a comprehensive suite of wellness solutions to help you attain your holistic wellness goals, at every stage of life.